As the holiday season wraps up and a new year kicks off, there can be a lot of pressure internally and externally to think about New Year’s resolutions. Many of us set out with positive intentions and a strong sense of hope. However, sometime around March, motivation wanes and we forget that we wanted to run that marathon or read 100 books. We slowly return to the status quo, joined by guilt and a feeling of failure.
The challenges we face in achieving our goals are not about how hard we try or how much we want it, but more about our approach to goal setting. One pitfall of goal setting is being too broad. You will likely give up if your goal for 2025 is to “practice self-care and set boundaries”. Not because it is not a worthy goal, but because it’s too vague. Creating more specific, trackable, and time-bound goals within the theme of self-care allows us to incorporate and implement change in a more structured and approachable way.
For example, “practice self-care and set boundaries” might become, “take more bubble baths”. That’s closer but still vague, allowing room for pushing it into the background. If we were to be more specific, time-bound, and realistic, we might change this to “take a bubble bath for 30-60 mins once a week”. This goal is simple and specific enough that you might actually stick with it!
Another pitfall of goal setting can be when a goal has specificity but is very large. For example, “establish and hold strong boundaries in professional and personal relationships by the end of 2025”. In these cases, it may help to break goals down into smaller pieces. Think of the smaller components as directions to the destination. This might look like setting a goal to say “no” to one extra task at work, saying “no” to an activity that you would not enjoy, reading your job description and referring to it, learning to recognize your discomfort, and prioritizing it, and many more that might be tailored to your circumstances.
In some cases goals are simple and we still give up because we don’t see results. As humans, we enjoy our instant gratification and are not accustomed to noticing slow, gradual changes. Engaging in weekly (daily, monthly) check-in sessions with ourselves – meditation, journaling, gratitude practice, and setting an intention to notice and celebrate small shifts can help keep us on track, “I didn’t take a bath every week, but I did it twice this month!”.
In other circumstances desired goals feel unattainable because of the value we assign to the words. Social media defines self-care as endless spa days and massage sessions which are nice and can be incredible, if you have the resources, but not all self-care activities cost money. Self-care can be brushing your teeth, paying a bill, or sending a meme to a friend. Personally, I like cleaning – something about making more space in my home helps me feel more connected. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, asking for what we need, and saying “no” are also forms of self-care.
Finally, whatever goals we set, it is important to recognize that they can be changed and adjusted and it is okay to give ourselves some grace. Cheers for restoration and more self-care in 2025, in whichever form it comes to you!
Check out the bingo card with some common, and not-so-common, self-care practices. See how many you can hit in your selected time frame.
