This time of year sometimes feels so focused on extending, giving, and offering that we lose sight of filling our own buckets. Or perhaps they are filled, but there is a slow leak that doesn’t allow for a full bucket. How do we honor and nourish the parts of ourselves that need us most? What does it mean to nourish our own soul before offering to others? This will be my eternal question and that is true for so many of us out there doing the work and living these complex and beautiful lives.
The idea of filling up my tank becomes complicated in times when my compañeros are being kidnapped by masked overlords with the coldest of hearts, our trans family faces daily threats and there are countless other things happening in our world that are scary and so sad. I do believe that the only thing that is true for the majority of people on our planet is that we are all scared. What does it mean to nourish a soul during times like these?
Can we consider what the world could be like if each person took a moment to nourish their own Self. I am an Abraham Maslow fan! I know that sounds nerdy (okay super nerdy), but I like his arc. His original theory was that to get to self-actualization we have to move up the pyramid, getting our needs met. Basic physiological needs are the foundation of that pyramid. As he aged, he began practicing transcendental meditation and evolved his theory. Maslow realized that there would be no reason to fight for basic needs without self-actualization.
Maslow’s Hierarchy: Separating Fact From Fiction, Written by Theo Winter
Abraham Maslow, His Theory and Contribution to Psychology, Written by Nicole Celestine
This matters! The more we nourish ourselves with love, understanding and compassion, the more the people in this world can heal. I’d like to offer that we must look within and discover together when our own internal systems have had enough and then go back three steps. Learn what that feels like and offer compassion and kindness before we get to the “hole in the bucket” stage and forget our own self in the process. I promise to try if you do.
May your year be filled with as much joy as you can stand
May your hearts be seen and held with care
May your kindness return in droves
May the fight for justice never die